Follow the list of do's and don'ts for a stress free Christmas Day.
WE’VE all been there – that moment, when the family sits down to the dinner table on Christmas Day, only to be greeted by an awkward silence and the heinous scratching of knives and forks against plates.
There’s no easy way to avoid the situation – so you do your best to make small talk and hope you don’t hit on a touchy subject.
With this in mind, I’ve created a short and sweet list of conversation Do’s and Don’ts to help you get through the festive season unscathed.
Read it – share it – appreciate it and, above all, if someone offends you with their unsolicited POV, simply take a deep breath and walk away.
Top 5 topics to avoid
- The weather: We literally live in it - we breathe it - we don’t need to talk about it. If you’re wanting to know what the weather’s going to be like over Christmas, I’ll tell you right now, it’s going to be the worst level of hot you’ve ever felt. You’re going to be so sweaty, you’ll be able to shut your eyes and pretend you’re floating in the ocean. The only reason to go outside will be to either jump in a lukewarm swimming pool or to try and fry an egg on the driveway.
- Politics: Turnbull pulled a swifty, Putin is scary, Trump is an idiot - get over it.
- Weight gain/loss: It’s rude and, if someone is suffering an internal battle, your words might only serve to make things worse. My Nanna used to greet me with, “Have you put on weight?” It was unpleasant and mean. Same applies to talking to dieters! It’s Christmas, everyone is going to cheat and, ultimately, feel disgusting by the end of the day. Don’t speed the process.
- Bigotry: While Christmas may revolve around Christian believes - it also forces groups of people together who may only see each other once a year. This can create a melting pot of opinions. Refugees, sexuality, war, gun control, drugs, intimate relationships, religion - all these are off the table. If you can’t add anything positive or maintain a calm discussion then don’t say it. Nobody wants to see a table full of food flipped on it’s end because you couldn’t control the feels.
- Bad presents: So you didn’t get what you asked for - big deal. The mere fact that you asked for something already makes you seem entitled. If you didn’t earn something you asked for, then don’t expect it to magically appear on Christmas morning. Santa is a wonderful, generous old man but he has zero time for spoiled brats.
Top 5 safest topics
- Compliment the chef: I don’t care where you got your meal from...even if it’s the server at the KFC drive through window - say ‘Thank You’ and ‘Merry Christmas’. Be grateful for the feast laid before you.
- Best memories: Nothing is cheesier than preparing for your post-lunch food coma by sitting down to watch some home movies. Snuggle up to the air-conditioner and talk to each other. Talk about your favourite parts of being a kid at Christmas. Indulge in reminiscing as you digest.
- New Year goals: Let your family know all the things you’re looking forward to in 2016 and ask them what they hope to achieve. Open up a discussion about the possibilities.
- The person you’re talking to: It’s okay to let someone ramble about themselves. It’s safe. In fact, it’s the safest of all topics! People love talking about themselves - the good and bad. NB* If you get trapped talking to someone, all you have to do is politely excuse yourself and hide in the bathroom for no longer than two minutes, anything over that will arouse suspicion.
- Holidays: Some people* don’t get them, so bringing this topic up could rub salt in the wound - but it might also be a nice opportunity for you to share stories of a recent adventure and to give those who haven’t had a holiday in a while a different perspective of the world.
*farmers
